Hey There!
I’m Jan Fran and I have a redneck backyard. This is my first post. My nephew from my daddy’s step-mama’s side fixed me up with this. He was think’n since I got such a fancy yard, I could help out other folks who want a good look’n yard like mine.
I like work’n in my backyard in my string bikini so I can get a tan. My buddy, JD, is sayin it’s a good thing I stay in my backyard and I got it fenced in cuz he’s sayin I’m too skinny. He wants to fattin me up with his fried chick’n and fix’ns. JD wants me to put about 50 lbs on my skinny bones. I like myself the way I am, so I told him what he could do with that there fried chick’n!
Me and JD been friends for a long time. His first wife’s cousin was best of friends with my second husband’s sister’s step-daughter. We met at a party fer a birthday BBQ or someth’n. His dog started hump’n mine and we met. A couple yers ago he moved his trailer on my empty lot. Now that my 5 yung’ns are grown with their own lives I gitts a little lonely cooking fer one. He comes over fer dinner once a week and he’ll help me around here if I need it. I don’t let him cook fer me cuz I know he’s just trying to git me to put some meat on my bones. I have to tell him what he can do with that there fried chick’n he cooks, most every week! JD can be a little slow to catch on sometimes, but he’s handy to have around!
Once after a bunch a beer and chug’n out of a bottle of Jack, we kissed. Nothin else happened (not sure which one of us passed out first, but I’m pretty sure it was probably JD). When we both sobered up a few days later, he apologized. He told me I wasn’t his type being only a size 7 and all. His fart’n is too stinky fer my liking anyways. Plus the man has all his teeth and hasn’t even started loos’n his hair at his age! Dang…the man uses that greesin formula or someth’n like that and doesn’t even have a bit of grey. I don’t want the neighbor folks to be think’n I’m going through some mid-life crisis thang and chasing younger men.
Well, any how, hope you stick around and visit my blog and I’ll help you with your redneck yard