14 Reasons Rednecks are Mentally Healthy
May is National Mental Health Awareness Month. I got me thinkin that rednecks are among the more mentally healthy of our society. I looked me over some mental health stuff here on this blog ’bout workin in group homes.
The reasons that us rednecks are mentally healthy:
1. Rednecks like the voices in their head, they never tell thm to kill anyone, just to git some more booze from the neighbor (it’s nice to be reminded).
2. Rednecks don’t come down from “manic” phases and get depressed, by the time they sleep off being up for days or weeks drinking, its time for the next manic phase.
3. Rednecks girls don’t get suicidal, they have friends like JD and boyfriends like Woody.
4. Redneck boys don’t get suicidal, they have friends like Jan Fran and girlfriends like Jan Fran.
5. Rednecks aren’t anorexic because redneck boys love that cleavage and love handles.
6. Rednecks don’t fret over being overweight because it helps them blend in.
7. Rednecks don’t suffer from anxiety disorders, none of them care about what each other think, let alone what the neighbors think.
8. Rednecks don’t need no AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings because none of them are in denial about drinkin too much. They embrace the fact.
9. Rednecks who are a developmentally delayed are the ones that made it the farthest in school in their family.
10. Rednecks don’t know what stress is because because they never work enough or stop drinking long enough to experience it.
11. Rednecks aren’t work-a-holics because they are usually too hung over to put in 40 hours let alone more than that.
12. Rednecks might be distracted easily, but ADHD (Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t a problem because once the keg is popped, Rednecks can sit still for extended periods of time.
13. Rednecks never, may I repeat never, have problems with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), they can’t remember where things were placed long enough to care if it stays that way.
14. Rednecks don’t suffer from panic attacks because they would have to be able to figure out why a person, place, or situation would cause panic (like that is going to happen). Besides, most of them stay drunk enough long enough to be relaxed in all situations.
As you can see, rednecks are among the most mentally healthy people you will ever be around.
