Jan Fran the Redneck

The sun and workin in my redneck yard can be harsh on my ‘ol skin. I found out about some soap and lotions that are made from goats milk! That’s right…..goat’s milk! Now if that ain’t made for a redneck, I don’t know what is! I have visions of Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies stirrin up a batch of that stuff!

Handmade stuff with natural ingredients are always good fer rednecks to use and to give. They even figgered out a way to make it smell good! Fer rednecks with sensitive skin, the soap has no dyes in it. They is wrapped up real perty in material. The soaps come in the following some of the soap scents include the following:

Gardenia (I should git this one an switch out JD’s soap in his shower fer a joke!)

Bare Hunter (This may have been inspired after someone saw my sweetie, Woody, huntin on a Saturday night after finishin off a bottle of Jack!)

Happy Gardener (Now that one must be fer me cuz of my redneck yard)

Honey Moon (If I ever git married again, I’ll my sure my redneck sweetie will have a couple of bars of this one!)

Reel Fishin’ (Don’t know too many rednecks who wash when they is out fishin’)

Warm Oatmeal (I best skip this one or I’ll have all the redneck boys wantin a taste of me!)

So if any of you wanna git you some of these redneck soaps fer yourself or your redneck friends, check out April’s Cozy Candles’, farm fresh (do them there two words belong together???) bath and body products and you let her know Jan Fran sent you!

Are you ready to be a redneck? Can you pass a redneck test? Here are some thins you can do to study up and become a redneck. Come on, you be honest with your good friend Jan Fran, here……..you know you wanna be a redneck!

1. Taste test the Taco Bell menu until you find yer self somthin’ good

2. Practice burpin and sayin your name at the same time

3. Put a couch on the back of yer truck, back up fast and stop. Practice til it flies off in one try onto the porch

4. Take a pencil an paper in the bathroom to copy down the good number fer a date

5. Read “101 Ways to BBQ Spam” and “102 Ways to BBQ Possum”

6. Find an abandoned car to put in your front yard

7. Water them there weeds and put away the weed killer

8. Stop brushin your teeth or they will never fall out

9. Start looking at those second cuzins “that” way

10. Put up a clothes line and hang up some of yer “wash day” underwear

11. Git yourself some beer and Jack-drink until you pass out

12. Study up on redneck games an invite the neighbor folk

13. Dig yerself a mud hole in the backyard and wrestle with your mama

14. Start making redneck gift baskets fer the next holiday