Jan Fran’s Redneck Yard

I was jest so excited when I found this here recipe to make for my redneck sweetie, Woody, on Valentine’s day. It is pretty sweet, so I guess I better git it to him before he starts up a drinkin. I will add some more whipped topping for the Circus Peanut Salad when I serve it to Woody. I could even make it into a pie with a cookie crust. this here recipe for a my redneck Valentine’s Day is a real find.

Are you ready to be a redneck? Can you pass a redneck test? Here are some thins you can do to study up and become a redneck. Come on, you be honest with your good friend Jan Fran, here……..you know you wanna be a redneck!

1. Taste test the Taco Bell menu until you find yer self somthin’ good

2. Practice burpin and sayin your name at the same time

3. Put a couch on the back of yer truck, back up fast and stop. Practice til it flies off in one try onto the porch

4. Take a pencil an paper in the bathroom to copy down the good number fer a date

5. Read “101 Ways to BBQ Spam” and “102 Ways to BBQ Possum”

6. Find an abandoned car to put in your front yard

7. Water them there weeds and put away the weed killer

8. Stop brushin your teeth or they will never fall out

9. Start looking at those second cuzins “that” way

10. Put up a clothes line and hang up some of yer “wash day” underwear

11. Git yourself some beer and Jack-drink until you pass out

12. Study up on redneck games an invite the neighbor folk

13. Dig yerself a mud hole in the backyard and wrestle with your mama

14. Start making redneck gift baskets fer the next holiday