My sweetie Woody had to work last night when my sis, Jan Ann, came a visitin from the city. I got JD to take us girls out. Some of those boys at the bar had some darn good redneck pick up lines. I didn’t fergit about my man, JD, but it was mighty temptin.
Jan Ann was put off by those boys. She jest don’t know what she’s missin out on! I guess she’s use to the pick up lines that city boys use! I helped JD by a passin some of the good ‘uns on to him. I think he got a date with one of the hot redneck pick up lines I passed on to him.
Here iz some of the hot redneck pick up lines me and my sis heard at the honky tonk last night.
“My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can’t hold it in.”
“Can I see if I can suck off that food stuck in yer teeth?”
“Come close, baby, smell my breath. Does it smell bad? Do I need a mint?”
“Your place or your place, my place has a bad smell I can’t get rid of.”
“You look so good I wanna put you on a plate and sop you up with a homemade biscuit.”
“Less teeth means more room for your tongue.”
“You musta farted, cuz you jest blew me away.”
“Come on over to my place and lets take a shower together….you smell.”
“How many shots of Jack Daniels will it take until I look good enough to go home with?”
“No teeth means no bite marks to explain to your boyfriend.”
“I gotta sit here till its safe to go back over there where I jest farted.”
“If you were a green slimy booger, I’d still pick you.”
“I may look like crap, but I iz as sweet as can be….just like chocolate.”
“Your blue eyes remind me of my blue toilet bowl water back home.”
“You like skittles? (yes) I got some in my mouth right now if you want to taste the rainbow.”
“Ain’t we cousins? I’m good in bed, so I bet you are too, lets find out.”
“My pants are wet, can I get into yours with you?”
“I’m so turned on by you, I’m ready to lick the film off the teeth you got left.”
If me and Woody don’t work out, I’ll be back over there getting to know some of those smooth talkin boys with those hot redneck pick up lines!
