Jan Fran’s Redneck Yard

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF…..

you think the mall and Wal-Mart are one in the same

your weed eater has never actually been turned on, but you find it really hand to keep a door propped open

you have borrowed your dog’s flea and tick shampoo and conditioner

you have been fired because of your appearance from a construction job

there are more than four cars up on blocks in your back yard

you have color-coordinated rope that ties down your hood

your hunting dog had a litter of pups in your living room and nobody noticed

you have to hit the dashboard of you truck to get the radio or lights to work

your two year old has more teeth than you do

you have a preschooler who is a member of the NRA

you think a turtleneck is the main ingredient of soup

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF…..

You have stolen from a scarecrow and the clothes fit

There are more than 10 pending lawsuits against your dog

Home shopping network recognizes your voice

Your old living room furniture is now your new lawn furniture

You have a specific set of hats to wear to specific activities like farm show, vacation, the ar, party, beer drinking

Christmas tree is up in Feb

You wish your bathroom was as nice as the rest stop at the state park

You never buy B-tips because your keys work jest fine

There are more dishes in your sink than your cabinet

Your porch is bigger than your house

If you have ever been asked to leave a yard sale

Bikers back down from your mama

One of your kids are named after your favorite hunting dog

Your definition of a woman who is “out of your league” is a woman who doesn’t bowl in the same league that you do